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Welcome one, welcome all

Well hello.

Welcome to my new blog, all about nonsense lyrics.

I'm going to be talking about those poor singers, at the mercy of lyricists who write utter nonsense that poor singer has to make sense of.

Today it's the turn of...

Ace of Base's early 90s hit All That She Wants.

Let's look at the evidence:

"When she woke up late in the morning light
And the day had just begun"

So, it's late in the morning and yet the day has just begun? That seems to defy the laws of time.

"It's not a day for work
It's a day for catching tan
Just lying on the beach and having fun"

Well I know we all have days like that, when we wish we could just take off to the beach. But I find that if one wants to keep the job it's best to at least phone in. There's no indication at all that she's told them she isn't coming in today. Does her contract even have a duvet day allowance or is she pulling a sickie? I'm worried that someone is going to see her on the beach and tell her employers, and then she'll get told off. And if it's happened before maybe she's already on a warning, and...OHMYGOD SHE'S GOING TO LOSE THE HOUSE.

And now we come to the crux of the song:

"All that she wants is another baby*"

Another baby? 

WHAT HAS SHE DONE WITH THE FIRST ONE?

Is it at nursery? Did she wake up earlier, take it to nursery or a childminder, and then change her mind and go to the beach? That seems a bit mean actually. I'm sure her baby would love a day at the beach, maybe with a picnic, or seaside chips, and an ice-cream.


"When she woke up at the normal time
And the day had just begun
She took her child to nursery 
Like a responsible parent
It's not a day for work
It's a day for catching tan so I'll go and get the baby and we can spend the day together
But I'd better phone work and I'll pack my UV sunblock because melanoma is a bad thing, and being blonde** I burn very easily.

All that she wants is another baby
At some time in the future
When she's a bit more settled and her work options are improved
And she has some savings"

I'm sure we can all agree this is a vast improvement.






*I know that "baby" in this context isn't an actual baby. 
** Ace of Base were Swedish. At least one of them was blonde. It's the law.

Comments

  1. Must admit, I'd always assumed that it was the equivalent of "she wants another child", rather than wondering what had happened to the first.

    But then, I can be horribly literal on these things. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I live in Sweden. I have met MANY Swedes. Surprisingly few of them are blonde. #justsayin'

    ReplyDelete

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